Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
