shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it glows. i had to have it.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We are all done wearing pants today
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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