and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Randomize
