Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
