I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
