I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
