He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i think i have herpe
just one?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
