i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
