needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
