mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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