we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
and she was petting her beer can
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
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Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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