its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize