4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
