she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
