I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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