Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
from now on my penis is your penis
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
