great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Randomize
