I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I wish life had little blips of pornography
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
