i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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