I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
