I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
it's great music for shaving your balls
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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