I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
