Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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