I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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