Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Randomize