So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
