Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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