Me. At least after what I've been through.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
