I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
