24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
