I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
