So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
