We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
