Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
