Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
