thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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