I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I just want nice things and good sex
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
