They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
