No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
