you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
