capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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