ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
My ass is underappreciated
Randomize
