I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I just googled if crying burns calories
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
