She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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