No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
