I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize