After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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