She's JV to your varsity
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
