She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
You ruined the universe
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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