is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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