hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
