she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
