And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
