When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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