in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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