If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
