Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
