I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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