can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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