Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
