Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Randomize
