so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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