Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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