He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize